Real Conversations I've Had With Patients Tonight 3/11/16

  1. Patient: Can you hand me a pee bucket? Me:
  2. Me: The doctors need to see your lab values to see if you're getting better or not. Patient:
    Like he literally just gave me the finger
  3. Patient: Can I have a banana? Me: nothing to eat or drink by mouth remember? Patient: you aren't actually a real nurse remember?
    Side note: I am a real registered nurse
  4. Me: I'm going to give you a medication *explains medication purpose and side effects* Patient: You lying ass bitch tryna poison me with soapy water. Get the fuck outta here