ANXIOUS

fml.
  1. I'm lying in bed right now literally a ball of anxiety.
  2. Some shit went down at work on Friday.
  3. We had a big event last Sunday and I dropped the ball with an element of it.
  4. Well not drop the ball but what I did didn't make things run as smoothly as they should have.
  5. (It's complicated and this really isn't the medium to get into the details)
  6. The outcome of it was not horrible but not as good as it should have been.
  7. Anyway, my boss is upset and disappointed.
  8. It was like when your mom says she's disappointed in you and you know that she doesn't trust you anymore.
  9. My biggest anxiety trigger of all time is when I have let someone down or when someone is upset with me.
  10. So this was horrible.
  11. I was a mess all day on Friday and ended up writing my boss a lengthy email apologizing and outlining my steps of improvement.
  12. (Sidenote: my office is very small and we are all very close and I love everyone I work with and admire them deeply. I am also the youngest employee by quite a bit)
    Except for the new hire who starts in April who is my age but that's besides the point except now I am afraid that they will like her more because she isn't A MASSIVE SCREW-UP.
  13. Anyway I write the email and she responds saying thank you and that we would talk when she gets back.
  14. Because she's on vacation for a week.
  15. And guys, I'm stressing hard.
  16. Because I don't know what she feels towards me.
  17. And because the office vibe is probably gonna be off.
  18. And I'm just pissed at myself.