I AM GOING FROM 36 TO 86, IN ONE FAST YEAR!

I am fighting with the post-office and junk-mail. In my bathrobe.
  1. Every week, my junk mail looks like this.
  2. Half of the junk mail is addressed to my ex-married name. I was divorced in December 2007.
  3. So, I started to open, rather than shred, my junk mail. I found a "no postage necessary" envelope in most of them.
  4. I am OCD (and ADD--if you ever want to know what that is like I can tell you, but trying to stay on task, let's just summarize: I have more important things to do, but I had an idea!!!) so I made a reply note to opt-out of mail.
  5. Using THEIR postage!!! (Yep, in my bathrobe, flaunting my "free" mail).
  6. I am feeling dumb for the bathrobe? So let me try again, in just my hoodie.
  7. Ignore the domestic non-hardcoreness behind me. Yeah, that is a cat in a sweater on the yellow blanket.
  8. War wounds. Notice how I have white-out all over my damn self, but the pic that hides my address and name is actually covered with torn-up post-its. The white-out was more like, sheer lingerie. Not hiding anything.
  9. This is definitely going to be a shame post. I have invested too much to not publish. Plus, I have doubts my letters will work, and fears the post office will make me pay for using postage in a corrupt way.