WARNINGS FROM THE MOUTH OF MY JEWISH MOTHER

You may notice a theme...
  1. "Drive safely. It's St. Patrick's Day and there are drunk people on the roads."
  2. "Drive safely. It's NYE and people are already driving drunk out there."
  3. "Drive safely. It's Halloween. There are crazy people on the roads."
  4. "Drive safely. It just rained and the roads are slickest after the first rain of the season."
  5. "Drive safely. It's raining so you have to drive 10-15 mph slower than you usually do."
  6. "Drive safely. Why don't you take your heels off on your way to the party so they don't get caught in the pedals?"
  7. "Drive safely. There are crazy post-Coachella people driving home out there!"