WTF THINGS ABOUT THE EXTENDED LIPSON CLAN
- 1.They are the most waspy Jews you will ever meetSince when do Jews conceal emotions?
- 2.They are all incredibly high functioning alcoholicsOur grandma ordered a Grey Goose martini straight up at noon.
- 3.Our grandma, once called the most beautiful woman in Toronto, is married to the town's biggest putzWhen on the topic of my home birth he said "what a dumb family." He also told my high school boyfriend who was into Chinese medicine that he was an idiot.
- 4.90% of all Lipson men are pervertedMy grandfather recently remarked in Palm Springs, "what a nice body," as I walked past him in a bikini. My aunt said "that's your granddaughter." He has Alzheimer's but this would've happened years ago. Also called the area where cousins and I were tanning was "tushy town." He didn't remember @Z name but said "last time I saw you you were in a bikini." Wut.
- 5.The family business is manufacturing socks, under an Irish name, because who in Toronto wanted socks made by Jews 50 years ago?
- 6.They have fucked up ways of pronouncing words: "oot" "sore-ry" "tomoarow" and worst of all "NaTAAASha"
- 7.They are proper business people and we were raised by artists in Venice and I am always confused by how I am related to them