Types of Post-Grad Friends, Told By Cheese

A note to the class of 2016
  1. Gruyere
    This is the post-grad friend who's neck hurt post graduation from all those cords. This friend deferred law school to take a Fulbright. They report that it is, "challenging but rewarding!"
  2. Brie
    The only reason this friend is even remotely together is because of their rich parents. Their dad is paying their rent in Manhattan until they find a job.
  3. Cheddar
    Classic. This friend majored in finance/management and now has a 9-5. Checking all the boxes, playing by all the rules. The next step for this friend is the MBA.
  4. Feta
    This friend is falling apart, but it's charming and great. This friend can't hold down a job but loves to smoke weed and go on Chat Roulette.
  5. Goat cheese
    These friends are usually up to something dope. They are creative, sensitive, and open to risk. They low key have a publisher interested in their manuscript.
  6. Swiss
    This friend falls into a hole off the grid. Every so often, for a few months, this friend won't be online and will be hard to contact. The friendship snaps right back most of the time.
  7. Mozzarella
    Lovable, but boring. This friend is an accounting major who plans to get married at 25 to their long-term girlfriend.
  8. Wensleydale
    This friend has STILL not realized that they are gay.