The Stupidest Comments I've Gotten About Being Deaf

I'm deaf. And I keep track of the stupid shit people say.
  1. Can you drive?
    Yup. Ears aren't exactly necessary for driving, trust me.
  2. Can you have babies?
    Wtf? Ears, uterus—pretty sure they're not linked.
  3. God bless you.
    I had a dude come up to me on the subway once, while I was signing with a friend. He gave me the sign of the cross with tears in his eyes. I'm absolutely fine. I don't need your pity or your blessings.
  4. Can you hear this....?
    Just don't.
  5. ASL (American sign language) is such a beautiful language!
    Suuuppperr patronizing.
  6. I know some ASL! *proceeds to very slowly sign "how are you"*
    Would you do the same to a Spanish-speaking person?!
  7. How much can you hear?
    What? Like... my actual decibel loss? You want me to describe what I can't hear when I'm not even sure what I'm not hearing?
  8. Can you hear me now?
    That goddamn commercial.
  9. You're so inspiring.
    Nope. I'm not your inspiration porn. I'm not a lesser being. I should not be inspiring because you shouldn't have expected less of me in the first place. I'm deaf. I can do anything, except hear.