My Drunk Alter Ego: A Saga

Imma tell you a story real quick. Life lessons people, this shit is real and I am shameful.
  1. There once was a girl named Natalie.
    Photogenic, I know.
  2. One day, Natalie's friends innocently invited her to a Halloween party.
  3. She then attended this party and showed up fashionably late, because her reputation was THRIVING.
    Pls refer to above photo for coolness level.
  4. Party = turnt
  5. Natalie and friend = sober
  6. Course of action? Catch up, obviously.
    Cue multiple successive vodka shots and repetitive cups of party hunch punch being consumed.
  7. Beer pong was lost, costumes were questioned, this party was lit.
  8. Then comes the strike of midnight.
  9. Natalie and co. are now tipsy and the party decides to be moved downtown to bar hop until the wee hours of the morning.
  10. Natalie (in her drunken state) says "HELL YAH" and proceeds to consume more alcohol dt.
    Because responsibility.
  11. Meanwhile, drunk Natalie (Datalie) loses control of her phone.
    Do not become me.
  12. Friend then proceeds to high jack Datalie's Tinder game and UP IT.
    Datalie = "All for it."
  13. Datalie quickly becomes Blatalie.
    In case you're wondering this is Black Out Natalie.
  14. Blatalie meets Tinder boy and apparently has a full hour long hang out with said boy.
  15. Blatalie remembers nothing except for yelling about getting chicken fingers.
    PSA: Natalie's friends are saints and nothing bad happened with Tinder boy.
  16. The clock strikes 3 AM!
  17. The following events happen:
  18. Sloppiness
    Because I'm trash.
  19. Blatalie confuses friend's sober friend for official Uber
    Natalie meets said DD four days later and entered the eternal box of shame.
  20. Blatalie makes it up her stairs without tripping miraculously and falls asleep dressed in party outfit on the top and pajamas on the bottom.
  21. TL;DR: DONT BE A BLATALIE.
  22. BLATALIE 👇🏼