I should probably just copy the scripts here tbh - jk I'll limit myself to 25 quotes for now but maybe I'll update this and I think I managed to put them in the order of the episodes, but I could be wrong. This was SO HARD, it took me so long omg. Thank you @kaitmaree for the suggestion, never put me in this situation again ok? hahahahah
  1. Mindy: Maybe I won’t get married you know? Maybe I’ll do one of those Eat Pray Love things. Ugh, no, I don’t want to pray. Forget it, I’ll just die alone.
    I'm pretty sure this is the line that made me go all HOLY SHIT THIS SHOW IS PERFECT WE ARE SO BLESSED
  2. Mindy: I can't have these beautiful insights and not share them with someone!
    i like to use this as my bio
  3. Danny: I would never marry this woman!
  4. Mindy: A best friend isn’t a person… it’s a tier.
    honestly not even the bible said something that is more true than this (it made me feel better because I couldn't choose a best friend but now I only have one so whatever)
  5. Mindy: Why does everyone want me to die alone?
    Everyone including myself it seems.
  6. Mindy: I'm Mindy Lahiri M.D., you stupid bitch!
  7. Mindy: Rapping is a hobby. Do you think I would just throw my life away simply because I'm good at naming celebrity couples?
    Although I have to say, this should be a real profession.
  8. Danny: Are you kidding me? Why are you wearing that?! Mindy: Because I don't want to get murdered Danny! Danny: That doesn't clarify anything!
  9. Jeremy: Mindy, you know, don't dwell on the past. Just focus on trying to make the future less disastrous.
    thanks Jeremy, I try to follow this too.
  10. Casey: Why are you going to hell? Mindy: I love gossip and I don't really care about the environment.
    same???? thanks for saying it on behalf of us all.
  11. Casey: Did you tell them the good news? Mindy: I did not. Guys I lost three pounds of water weight from diarrhea.
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA sometimes I think of this scene on the bus and I start to laugh alone like a super loser but omg Mindy's delivery of this is PERFECT.
  12. Mindy: My body is very attracted to your body but when you speak my brain gets angry.
    this is THE REALEST QUOTE EVER? anyway
  13. Peter: Are you kidding me, a winky face? That’s like Emoji porn!
  14. Danny: *kicks a tree* I'M NOT BEING DRAMATIC!!!
    sounds a lot like my life
  15. Danny: You know you're right for someone when they force you to be the best version of yourself.
    I never dated anyone so once I used this quote to give advice to my best friend about his romantic life and it worked, so thanks to everyone. (I credited the show ok I was like "omg they talked about this on TMP this week - because I couldn't stop talking about that episode - and it was amazing and I think they are right, think about it friend!!!!)
  16. Mindy: My plan was to marry rich and then stop working.
    mine too, but it isn't looking very good right now :/
  17. Mindy: The only downside of being a woman who can make her own decisions is that you have to make good decisions
  18. Mindy: Hey, did this treadmill just ask for my weight? Rude.
    UGH, yes!
  19. Peter: Family doesn't wait to be invited. It's like HPV, it just shows up and never leaves.
    I never had HPV but this seems very right imo
  20. Sheena: Now if the person in the mirror was your best friend, would you be as mean to her as you're being to yourself? Mindy: No. Sheena: Well, I got news for you. You are talking to your best friend. You.
    I love this quote so much and this was such an important scene for me, I can't.
  21. Matt: Are you hungry? Mindy: Yes, always.
    I'm super glad Mindy Lahiri talks about food so much because it's the closest I'll ever get to be like her.
  22. Danny: I'd like to be wrong.
    Like I think this is the most romantic thing Danny has ever said to Mindy because he NEVER wants to be wrong about anything and yet he wants in this with her, he knows that if someone can prove him wrong, that someone is Mindy and idk, I got pretty emotional thinking about his development just now.
  23. Danny: I know you're really scared, and so am I. Morgan: Me too. Mindy: You are? Danny: Yeah, I am terrified. But the only thing that calms me down is knowing that I'm doing this with someone that's stronger than I am.
    Ok this whole scene was perfect, he apologizing to her and everything and then Danny saying Mindy is stronger than Ma, etc but this touched me so much because again Danny is acknowledging not just how lucky to be with someone who makes him better in EVERYTHING, like Mindy. Danny's biggest fear is to turn into his father so it's a big thing that Mindy is there for him, because she can prevent this, in his mind. Also, yes, of course she can.
  24. Mindy: If you are not living your authentic self, what was the point of Glee?
    Not even Ryan Murphy knows this one, but yeah? I mean Glee helped me a lot with this authentic self thing or whatever
  25. Mindy: See? That's why I need you. Because you say annoying stuff like that, Danny. You make me a better person, and I make you a better person.
    I loved this because it was important that Mindy realized that while she doesn't have many issues to solve, she is a better person because of him. I think it was important for the audience to realize this too, because we keep talking about how much Danny changed because of Mindy, but she also came such a long way because of him and it's so important ahhhh!!!