A LETTER TO MY CRAZY EX

  1. Dear Sallie Mae,
  2. I know you miss me, and I know I broke your trust.
  3. But please stop calling me.
  4. You're coming off a little obsessive.
  5. Look, we hooked up freshman year of college.
  6. and hey, it was great, but it was so long ago.
  7. I don't feel about you what I did then.
  8. I don't need you like I thought I did.
  9. It's time to let go.
  10. Please stop calling me.
  11. and stop calling my parents.
  12. Just cause they signed off on you doesn't mean they still wanna hear from you.
  13. Oh Sallie Mae, why oh why did I ever hook up with you?