DRUNKS, RANKED

A handy guide for asking how I'm doing during a night of drinking.
  1. 10.
    Buzzed
    I'm feeling jovial, alcohol is liquid courage and social lubricant. Basically just like I'm in a good mood.
  2. 9.
    Tipsy
    A little more talkative than normal but you probably still wouldn't know I've had a drink.
  3. 8.
    Feelin' it
    I've had enough that you can probably tell I've been drinking but nothing crazy.
  4. 7.
    "I've had a few"
    I'm actually starting to feel it now. Will need food soon.
  5. 6.
    Ballgame Buzz
    A term I coined during a three-day stint at Wrigley Field in April. Asked how I was as we walked out I said "I've got a perfect ballgame buzz going!" Essentially: the perfect level of drunk for whatever activity you're doing.
  6. 5.
    *Heavily exhaling while holding onto something for stability*
    I am definitely a little drunk and probably taking a breather from socializing.
  7. 4.
    *Small nod of the head to signify I'm alright*
    Now I'm up again and rallied, having fun
  8. 3.
    "Hell yeah I'll take a shot!"
    I'm not ever opposed to shots, but unless I'm this drunk I'm not excited about them either!
  9. 2.
    Drrrrruuuuuuunnnnnnkkkkkk
    I don't actually slur, I exaggerate the fake slur like crazy to emphasize that I actually am really drunk even if you can't tell. That way you won't let me drive or do anything stupid.
  10. 1.
    *Closing my right eye so I can focus on my phone*
    I am as drunk as I can possibly get. Take me home.