FIVE JOB OFFERS I WOULD ACCEPT REGARDLESS OF SALARY

Inspired by @HisDudeness, @marymurphy, et. al.
  1. Social Media Fellow for the Chicago Cubs
    AKA professional list writer. Sports teams need to be on this app, there are endless possibilities for Sports teams on this app and I would love to spearhead the Cubs organization's presence on here. Plus to live in Wrigleyville, interact with my favorite team and athletes, and by proxy work for @list. One of my first lists was about how sports teams should be on here: REASONS WHY SPORTS TEAMS SHOULD BE ON THE LIST APP
  2. Novelist
    Just a small cabin overlooking Lake Geneva - surrounded by books. Just a wifi connection and a computer and writing novels all year round. People would think of me as reclusive but if any of them got big I'd go on Jimmy Fallon for sure
  3. Professor of Rhetoric/Sociology
    Preferably at a small little liberal arts college in the Midwest or New England area. I would rock those sweater vests/tweet jackets and love to spend my life stroking my beard and looking thoughtfully over my glasses whilst nerding out with college kids over pop-culture and how it influences us. I'd publish papers with particular emphasis on television and new media, sitcoms and contemporary literature.
  4. Chief of Staff for a powerful politician
    I've always loved being a behind-the-scenes man, being someone that gets a lot of the work accomplished but doesn't have to be in the spotlight or even get the credit for my work. Doug Stamper is my hero.
  5. Coordinator for an adult summer camp
    Imagine summer camp, all the games and competitions and fun and relationships - but for grown-ups, and with an open bar! I would love to run a summer camp and piece together my love of summer and the camping industry from 12 years of bible camp with my life now! Classes about brewing and mixology instead of Old Testament or something. Have all the games, water activities, arts and crafts, and fire. Just a little bit grown up.