LES MISERABLE, RANKED BY ACTUAL MISERABLENESS

  1. 11.
    Javert
    Kills himself when he realizes there's another side to God and rules and accidentally shows mercy. Really just a dick. Not at all miserable.
  2. 10.
    Cosette
    Starts off basically a slave, but then becomes a rich foster daughter, finds love in the arms of another rich white person. Not that miserable overall.
  3. 9.
    Monsieur Thérnardier
    Poor but kind of an asshole. A little miserable.
  4. 8.
    Madame Thérnardier
    Poor but also an asshole, husband is mean to her sometimes so a little more miserable than him.
  5. 7.
    Marius
    Rich but recognizes the plight of the common man. Gets a cute girl to fall in love with him in like 2.5 seconds. Not so miserable. But then gets dragged through a literal shit-filled sewer while all his friends die. A little miserable.
  6. 6.
    The Men Of The Barricade
    Too drunk to be miserable, but then they all die.
  7. 5.
    Jean Valjean
    Spends a huge chunk of life in prison for stealing a loaf of bread. Pretty miserable. Finds God and does really well in life. But constantly chased by that dick Javert. Back and forth from not miserable to super miserable.
  8. 4.
    Enjorlas
    A passionate leader, didn't get the following he deserved. Watches all his friends die, stands strong with the cause. Dies dramatically. Sorta miserable.
  9. 3.
    Gavroche
    Happy little kid, then he dies in his fathers arms. Pretty damn miserable.
  10. 2.
    Eponine
    Starts out a spoiled little brat but then gets poor (which they never explain). She has terrible parents, not a great life. Then she takes a bullet for the guy she's always been in love with, who by the way uses her to find out info about other girls. So beautiful, so sad. Awfully miserable.
  11. 1.
    Fantine
    Too miserable to comprehend. Broken heart, never gets to see her child, fired on false pretenses, has to become a prostitute, dies. Just, life came AT her man. The most miserable.