MIDWESTERN SEASONS

  1. Autumn
    Two to three weeks in October of pure perfection, beautiful changing leaves and sunny but crisp weather. It makes you want to head to the local apple orchard or pumpkin patch.
  2. Pre-Winter
    Four to six weeks from late October/early November to early/mid December. The leaves have fallen, the days are grey and overcast, It's cold and the wind bites. There's rain and frozen rain and slush, but the ground is cold and hard. and there's stink beetles and boxelder bugs. fucking. everywhere.
  3. Winter
    December-End of February. Bitter cold, snowfall that looks gorgeous at first but slowly turns to nasty grey slush. Only really three days of good sledding or snowman building weather. You have to wake up 20 minutes early to start and scrape your car. Lakes freeze over. and nobody seems to remember how to operate motor vehicles.
  4. Post Winter
    March. Everything is wet, there's mud everywhere. it's still not very warm. You buy spring clothes but they are all dirty from the wet and the mud. and you're cold cause it's 45 degrees and short sleeves don't work for that.
  5. Pre-Spring
    April. It's a little warmer but it's raining and there's tornadoes. Your new spring clothes are ruined by now.
  6. Spring.
    One day in mid-April. The first sunny and high 60's day. It's still a little chilly but you'd never know because everyone is in shorts and sundresses. People throw frisbees and have their windows rolled down. You first hear the rumble of motorcycles throughout town.
  7. Post-Spring
    Mid-April to mid-May. It's raining again. It's cold again. and just to fuck with you, it snows one more time, probably right after you packed winter coats away.
  8. Pre-Summer
    Mid-May to early June. It's not truly warm enough for summer activities yet. You can't swim or be outside ALL day, ice cream shops are open but you don't really want any you just feel obligated. But it's nice, it's a respite from the last six months of bad weather. The bugs and mosquitos aren't overrunning your town yet, the humidity hasn't sunk it's teeth in yet, and you get some fascinating thunderstorms.
  9. Summer.
    Mid-June to Late-August. It's hot as balls. It's humid as fuck. Nobody enjoys being outside, because the instant you are you sweat. Beware of glasses wearers, because the second they step out of air conditioning their glasses will fog up, temporarily blinding them. Even if you can handle the heat, the second you step outside those little fucking vampires known as mosquitos descend in hordes to feast on your uncovered flesh.
  10. Post Summer.
    September. The temperatures have gone down, the humidity has lifted. You slowly remember what it is you like about summer, lamenting the missed days on the Lake, you try to squeeze in outdoor activities before darkness descends again. You slowly begin to add layers as the temperature drops and the days grow ever shorter.