MY DAY OFF FLOW

after looking forward to my next day off all week, the night before is full of dreams for that glorious 30-48 hours where I don't have to work.
  1. I dream about how I'll spend the day
    Maybe I'll go to a coffee shop and get some reading done, or really burrow down and write something! Or I'll make a list of all the errands I have to run, things I've been meaning to get done.
  2. I set the alarm for a reasonable time
    I'm gonna get up early and be productive!
  3. I go to sleep early, so that I'll be well rested for the day ahead
  4. I snooze through four alarms
  5. I wake up between 10am-12pm
  6. That's okay! Lemme just take a quick shower and get started on all I have to do today!
  7. Before hitting the shower I browse through Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and the List App to catch up.
    somehow this takes half an hour
  8. I head downstairs and open my laptop
    I browse Facebook and Twitter, seeing everything I just saw on my phone, again
  9. I start browsing the news and decide to make some coffee
    While reading about what's going on the world I forget about the coffee, twenty minutes goes by before I pour my first cup, which I intended on drinking while reading the news
  10. I flip on the tv to watch just one episode of Netflix while I drink my coffee
    I finish that cup halfway through a twenty minute episode and pour myself a second up to enjoy while I finish the episode. I don't touch that cup till the episode ends and decide one more episode won't hurt while I finish this cup, I don't want it to go to waste! I'll drink tea when I get to Starbucks to be productive.
  11. Netflix asks "Are you still watching?" and I realize three more episodes have passed and it's now slipping into or past mid-afternoon
  12. I shower and get dressed for the day
  13. Now I realize I'm hungry and can't decide if I should make something here at home or grab a quick bite on the way to my errands/day of productivity.
  14. I'll make a bite here - save some money
  15. But I won't get distracted by Netflix this time
    I open my book while water boils for pasta or pizza cooks in the oven
  16. But once the food is done I remember how bad I am at eating and reading at the same time
  17. One episode while I eat and then it's time to get out for the day!
  18. "Are you still watching?"
  19. It's late afternoon, the sun is setting.
  20. I take off my pants and open a beer. This day off is over, may as well finish this season (and this six pack) now.
  21. At work tomorrow, coworkers ask "How was your day off?"
    "I got so much done!" I'll tell them. As I shamefully remember all I was going to do that day.
  22. I spend my next four shifts plotting how great my next day off will be.