THINGS COUPLES DO ON SOCIAL MEDIA THAT I HATE

If you do these things then I hate you
  1. "I'm the luckiest guy/girl alive!"
    there is no luck involved. you met someone of similar age in the same basic geographic and socio-economic area as yourself. that is actually the direct opposite of "luck," you twat.
  2. "I'm the luckiest guy/girl alive!" attached to a picture of your partner doing some mediocre task for you.
    when your partner shovels your car out, makes you dinner, or surprises you with coffee you are not the luckiest person alive. you are, in fact, just in a couple.
  3. "My best friend"
    "On a date with my best friend!" or "so happy to be marrying my best friend!" etc. Pretty sure these are also the people that post a picture with twelve different "BFF's" a month. Oh and also called every single person they dated before you their "best friend"
  4. "You know you're dating your best friend when...."
    stop. if you date someone long enough they're going to get to know you well. Somehow showing they know a minute detail about you isn't something the rest of the world needs to see. Just stop.
  5. "Relationship Goals"
    it's one level of annoying to post this as a meme, it is another thing entirely to meme-ify yourself/your relationship by tagging it #relationshipgoals or #couplegoals. stop assuming your relationship is something other people idolize. we don't. nobody does.
  6. Posting about every milestone/anniversary
    it's okay to celebrate privately.
  7. "So Blessed"
    this may just be the Churchy version of the "luck" thing, but still. You found a partner, congratulations! They may even make your life better and truly be a blessing to you, that's wonderful. But you don't have to post "blessed" for every tiny little freaking thing your partner does for you.
  8. I scrolled through Facebook when I ran out of ideas for this list and found three more:
  9. Just constant pictures together
    in the exact same pose, with a slightly different background. If you're doing something cool or can get an artsy picture of your partner that rocks. But a different photo of the two of you standing next to each other every single day is unnecessary.
  10. Kissing pictures
    Maybe just cause I'm not big on PDA but kissing pictures should happen at your engagement and wedding only. maybe some anniversaries. or if you're a REALLY attractive couple. Also there should be a moratorium on kissing selfies, always
  11. #MCM and #WCW every. goddamn. week.
    we get it. you're a couple. you are allotted one #MCM or #WCW post a year, if your anniversary falls on one of those days of the week or your partner goes way out of their way to do something amazing for you that week.
  12. I hate all of you.
  13. basically me right now: