REASONS I SHOULD BE VERIFIED

I'm famous, I promise. @list @bjnovak
  1. I once scored not one but TWO goals in an AYSO soccer game when I was 7.
  2. I have 642 Facebook friends. (are you impressed yet?)
    yes this includes my mom
  3. I am a published author.
    of a peer-reviewed research paper and may or may not be referred to as "et al." on the heading
  4. I am the voice of my generation.
  5. I am the voice of your generation.
  6. I have folded over 5,000 paper cranes in my lifetime.
    I'm not stopping anytime soon.
  7. I am literally an anthropomorphized North Atlantic Treaty Organization
    ain't nobody fucks wit me