A List of All of the Guys I've Hooked Up With in College

Just to show you how high my standards are.
  1. A guy with a Confederate flag hanging up in his room.
  2. A guy with a fitness Instagram account.
  3. A guy who had to take a break from hooking up to go vomit and subsequently fall asleep at the toilet.
    Those first three guys were all named Eric.
  4. A guy who plays the clarinet.
  5. A guy who I found the morning after in the kitchen wearing swim trunks and a Hawaiian shirt.
    He then proceeded to feed me yogurt.
  6. A guy who lived in a garage.
  7. A guy who would ask ME to choke HIM.
    I dated him for six months.
  8. A guy who I made out with on the ground in front of a run-down antique store.
  9. A guy who was recovering from a hernia.
  10. A guy who took me back to his place to see his 3D-printed bong.
  11. A GUY WHO LITERALLY THREW UP IN MY ROOM.
  12. A guy who wasn't wearing anything but a white robe.
  13. A guy who told me I was "dope".
  14. A guy who woke me up at 8am the next morning by playing an alarm on his phone.
  15. A guy who wore joggers that were actually flannel pajama pants.
  16. A guy who showed me all of his homemade fishing bobbers.
  17. A guy who took me back to his place in a Pedicab.
  18. A guy who had cars on his bedsheets.
  19. A guy who looked at me the next morning and called me "nakey".