ORDER IN WHICH I WOULD CHOOSE THE SHARKS

I love Shark Tank (I hum the theme song no less than 11 times a day) and I like each of the judges for their own reasons, but here is the order I would rank them in, best to worst:
  1. Mr. Wonderful (Kevin O'Leary)
    I think Kevin is the most pragmatic shark on the panel. I think he gives fair deals, and he has so much pride and gusto you know he wouldn't let your company sink. Plus, he's a fucking prick, and I love pricks 🖤In all honesty though, he seems like a really nice, fair guy when it all boils down.
  2. Mark Cuban
    I love Mark. He doesn't just give up an offer to be nice, like, *ahem* Robert. He means business, but he's also such a personable and fun loving guy. He would sit you down in a business meeting and get you a 2-million dollar contract, then immediately shoot the shit with you right after.
  3. Lori Grenier
    Lori is aggressive. When she likes something, she's passionate about it, and about you. Lori is excellent for niche products, so I put her in the middle, since I think choosing her would be contingent on the product we're selling.
  4. Barbara Corcoran
    Barbara is shrewd, calculated, and cunning. She knows what she's doing, and she hates bullshitters and beating-around-the-bush, which I highly respect her for. She's also a great personal advertisement for your company she's invested into (Grace + Lace, anyone?) but there's just something about her I don't jump for joy over. She doesn't leave me excited or intrigued or perplexed.
  5. Robert Herjavac
    I love Robert, I really do. He's such a sweet guy and I can tell he gives really honest, genuine feedback. He just makes the deal too quickly every time, and he makes deals when nobody else is interested, seemingly only for pity or to make things interesting, so I would take his offer less seriously than the others.
  6. Daymond John
    I never liked Daymond enough to rank him higher than 4th, so he's last. I don't hate him, but he's not my favorite, doesn't excite me much, and can have an attitude sometimes. I would still be happy to work with him.