Things Learned/Cemented in 2017
(JVC year, really)
- •Never try and "do" therapy, but aspire to be therapeutic.Transformed how I view the work. Thanks Sr. Mary!
- •People are rational beings — the logic behind actions can be valid but not exactly sound.There are clear reasons why people do the things that they do, even if they don't "make sense" to us.
- •"Fixing mode" is not always the best method in helping someone.Notorious "fixer". The thing is, "fixing" things doesn't always help people feel heard, loved, or supported in their moments of pain. It can be helpful to just sit with them, feel with them, and show compassion.
- •For many, the best kind of therapy is the kind when you don't say a word.
- •Retaliation is the easy route. Choose compassion (sappy but true!).People are constantly going through shit, and it's easy to be snarky or retaliative. Lashing back out doesn't help you or the other person.
- •There's a difference between caring and curiosity.
- •I'm still not sure how I feel about this one, but it's stuck with me ever since I heard it: "The things that annoy you in others are things that annoy you about yourself."I am zealously against chewing with my mouth open (and more similarly trivial things), but I know there are some things that I find terribly annoying in other people that I can be guilty of too. Humility etc.?
- •Time moves even if you don't.
- •Self-care.The concept was thrust upon us this year, and it was probably the most vital thing for me to become aware of. Not great at it yet, but it's nice to know that self-care is a continuing and ever-evolving thing, and that no-one really has it down all the time. Knowing your limits and your body and mind's signs is always something to be cognizant of.
- •Good people can make good times out of rough situations.JVC was a testing time, and there's no way I could have done it without the solid people it brought with it.
- •Don't feel guilty about doing you.Kinda goes hand in hand with the whole self-care thing. I found it vital to spend time alone and "off the grid" from time-to-time, and feeling guilty about this dragged me down. Recognizing that mindful independence is healthy and shouldn't be something to feel guilty about.
- •Communication styles are very real.Learning others' styles was super helpful for my own situations comprehension and definitely helped prevent major misunderstandings (i.e. Indirection =/= passive aggressiveness).
- •Jealously and Gender.