I ruined everything

  1. My ex and I were on and off.
    Good texts bad meet ups vice versa.
  2. There was an arguement.
    Words were exchanged.
  3. The arguement went blank.
    No response.
  4. That's happened before.
    He'd gather his thoughts.
  5. I got a text.
    "I haven't been able to respond. My son is waiting in ER."
  6. I sent a text back
    "I don't need a response."
  7. What I meant.
    "OK, then don't respond because this is going to be too much with you in ER with your son and I honestly just wanted you to hear me out is all. So you don't need to respond"
  8. It was the wrong text to type.
    I should have just put "ok." Or "How is Brandon? "
  9. He blew up.
    Rightfully so. He text me a lengthy explanation of my insensitivity to his situation and then went dark.
  10. He deleted me on instagram.
  11. And hasn't responded to my texts.
    I wanted to call but, I don't know. It's so fresh. And I'm an asshole?
  12. I feel like I fucked up but, is it really beyond repair?
    I've forgiven him for worse.
  13. That feels narcissistic
    Or egocentric, I feel like an ass, basically.
  14. I think I need to call this a wash.
    I hate that.
  15. I thought this would be a rough patch.
    He'd date, I'd date.
  16. We'd both realize everyone else was subpar to our connection.
    And we'd get back together.
  17. It hasn't been like that.
    It's been an eb and flow of hang ups, ill planned hook ups, confusion, regret, hints of happiness, and mixed messages.
  18. I want us to get back together.
    I think though, I need to close this chapter.
  19. I don't know or if you can recover from that type of insensitive faux pas.
    And I don't know how to make it up to him.
  20. I'm not used to not being able to make something right.
    Pretty sure he's done.
  21. He probably can't remember the good times anymore.
    I probably ruined that too.
  22. Can you recover from this?
    Is this fixable.
  23. I just need to know.
    Did I mess up that bad? So bad, that we could never reconcile?
  24. Could time heal this?
    I don't honestly know.