HOW IT FEELS TO BE MISGENDERED
when someone uses the wrong pronouns and it consumes you, pushes you down. chronological.
- •like being punched in the stomachbut you expect it, as if this is the tenth in a long series of punches and your energy to brace yourself against it is gone
- •eyes go down, words stick in your throatit feels like when someone tells you you're nothing, worthless. their words sting and you can't respond
- •sounds become mutedyou can't hear what people are saying, your ears ring
- •you come back to yourselfit's too late to correct them. the conversation has moved on
- •you're spacey for the rest of the conversationyou can't pay attention, don't participate. the world passes you by.
- •you can't focus for the rest of the daynothing gets done, you can't remember anything or learn. productivity takes a nosedive.
- •every time this happens it's like another brick being thrown onto your backno one sees them but you have to carry them everywhere
- •that night, it's all you can think about
- •the next time you're with the person, you are hesitant and feel unsafeyou don't want to speak for fear of it happening again