QUESTIONS I STOPPED OBSESSING OVER NOW THAT I WORK IN SAN FRANCISCO

  1. Is that person wearing a costume or just making a bold fashion statement?
  2. Is that poo on the sidewalk human or animal? 💩
  3. Is that person talking to an imaginary friend, talking on the phone (and I just can't see their ear buds), or talking to an imaginary friend on the phone?
  4. The walk sign says I have the right of way, but will that cyclist run the red light and hit me if I cross the intersection now?
    The answer is always "yes."
  5. Why is the ground wet in this one spot when it hasn't rained and no one has been washing the sidewalk?
  6. Why is that person pulling up their pants and zipping up their fly in public (this is not necessarily someone who is homeless)?
  7. If I am in the Tenderloin at night, would I have a better chance of successfully defending myself against a drunk or against a junkie?
  8. Does that child wearing a hoodie with some tech company logo make more money than me, and if so, how sad does that make me feel?
  9. How much do I hate tourists at this very moment?
  10. How much do I hate conventioneers at this very moment?
    If it's lunchtime and there are long lines at my usual lunch spots, A LOT.
  11. Why does this basic sandwich cost over $10?
  12. Is the food at this place really worth an hour wait?
    95% chance of nope.