EXPERIENCES THAT MAKE ME AN EXPERT IN HAVING MY 💔 EVEN THOUGH I'VE ~TECHNICALLY NEVER DATED ANYONE

  1. When I read 'Rilla of Ingleside'.
  2. The time I was studying in Poland & hadn't had real pizza in 6 months & my uncle promised we'd have it for my birthday dinner but the pizza restaurant was 'too crowded' so we had to eat in the hotel restaurant and then when I ordered I was told they were out of pizza.
  3. When my most favorite of favorite bands announced a project where they were gonna release four albums in one year & then, after releasing one & teasing the next, ended up pursuing solo stuff instead, without releasing anything else even though at least an album's worth of music totally exists somewhere.
  4. The time I went into a coffee shop and was told they were out of coffee.
  5. Watching Star Trek XI over forty times.
  6. When the 2012 Broadway production of Jesus Christ Superstar closed without ever being allowed to release a cast recording.
  7. @crackdkettle & I not being able to find dark chocolate Peepsters anywhere this Easter, not even for ready money.
    We couldn't even find milk chocolate ones until YESTERDAY.
  8. Every time I get an email from Amazon notifying me that the publishing date for Tony Kushner's 'The Intelligent Homosexual's Guide to Capitalism & Socialism with a Key to the Scriptures' has been pushed even further into the future.