PEOPLE WHOSE NAMES MEAN THAT I CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH THEM 📂🎄📂

A mix of public figures, names I've encountered at work, & people I've met irl. Draftmas # 5.
  1. Sandey Fields
  2. Paul Brainin
    Every time he messed up, I'd be like, 'God Paul, put your brain in!'
  3. Dick
    Just anyone with this name. There are so many nicknames for Richard; this one doesn't even make sense; why would you choose it.
  4. Hyman
    My best friend from law school assures me everyone with this name is ancient, so I probably wouldn't be friends with them anyway but still.
  5. Wil Traval
    Probably pronounced tra-VAWL. Would not stop me from making jokes.
  6. Jet
    This should not be a name.
  7. John Boehner
    I took German in college, John. You're not fooling anyone.
  8. Anne Rand
    I could never fully trust her.
  9. Winner & Champion
    These are twins in my Sunday School group & I cannot take myself seriously when I have to directly address them.
  10. Phillip Phillips/Peter Peterson/Leona Leon/William Williams/&c.
    Who does this.
  11. Nancy Yancey.
    Would never be able to call her anything but this; would laugh evvvvery time.
  12. Rocky Rhodes.
    Another person I could just never take seriously.
  13. Khaleesi.
    Unless you have dragons to give them don't do this to your child.
  14. Jagger.
    Given my own plans for naming my children I should be careful how much I judge people who use last names of talents they admire as first names for their children but stillll. Jagger?!? (This is about both a child I know AND Ashlee Simpson's kid.)