THE WORST KINDS OF PEOPLE YOU MEET AS A BARISTA

  1. The people who think you're an octopus.
    Yes, I AM going to get you straws, but you ordered like five drinks; GIVE ME A SECOND.
  2. The people who are busier than everyone else on the planet.
    I'm sorry you decided to come through during our morning rush when you're apparently running late; you still have to wait your turn.
  3. The people who think they're better than everyone else because they're just ordering brewed coffee.
    You realize you could actually make this equally well (& almost certainly better) at home, right?
  4. The people who want to control everything.
    If you're so good at making drinks, fill out an application and get the f back here. PS, this is someone else's drink.
  5. The people who complain about the prices.
    I am not making these decisions. And again: no one is stopping you from buying your own coffee maker.
  6. The people who make their drink needlessly complicated.
    Turns out you actually can't tell the difference if I give you an entire Splenda instead of 3/4 of a packet. Weird. Get out of here with your crazy fractions.
  7. The people who forget to say iced.
    Yes, you did forget. Yes, I am sure; I confirmed it with you twice. Yes, of course I'll remake it. No, I'm sorry, it is not an instantaneous process.
  8. The people who hate the chain you work for.
    I am so sorry I dragged you in here against your will & forced you to order this drink. Please, how can I ever make it up to you?
  9. Edward Norton.
    '& what's your name, sir?' 'Uh, EDWARD?!?'