THINGS I HAVE CONSIDERED ADDING TO THE SKILLS SECTION OF MY RESUME

  1. Highly skilled in assembling IKEA furniture.
    It's not even hard. Give me a bottle of wine & I'm even better.
  2. Fluent in old person cursive.
    I'm basically the modern day version of the Polish Cipher Bureau.
  3. Able to consistently make semi-obscure references to Polish history.
    Welcome to the niche corner.
  4. Can cry at literally anything.
    I don't care if it's a car advert: I'll do it.
  5. Really good at having great skin even though I almost always sleep with my makeup on.
    Maybe I'm born with it; maybe it's the 3+ liters of water I drink a day?
  6. Great at working while suffering immense pain.
    You haven't truly lived until you've sat on the floor of a Starbucks taking drive through orders because your period cramps are so horrendous you can't stand up without feeling like you're gonna throw up &/or black out.
  7. Have scored a 5-star rating on 50 appearances in a row in my 'Kim Kardashian: Hollywood' game.
    Kim/the game says I can legit do this, so.