THINGS I HAVE CONSIDERED ADDING TO THE SKILLS SECTION OF MY RESUME
- •Highly skilled in assembling IKEA furniture.It's not even hard. Give me a bottle of wine & I'm even better.
- •Fluent in old person cursive.I'm basically the modern day version of the Polish Cipher Bureau.
- •Able to consistently make semi-obscure references to Polish history.Welcome to the niche corner.
- •Can cry at literally anything.I don't care if it's a car advert: I'll do it.
- •Really good at having great skin even though I almost always sleep with my makeup on.Maybe I'm born with it; maybe it's the 3+ liters of water I drink a day?
- •Great at working while suffering immense pain.You haven't truly lived until you've sat on the floor of a Starbucks taking drive through orders because your period cramps are so horrendous you can't stand up without feeling like you're gonna throw up &/or black out.
- •Have scored a 5-star rating on 50 appearances in a row in my 'Kim Kardashian: Hollywood' game.Kim/the game says I can legit do this, so.