Inspired by @jannychan
  1. Men are such babies
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    Quoting Anastasia. & also so many of the ones I encounter are.¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  2. J/k
    Pronounced as either 'jay kay' or 'jay slash kay'. Picked this up from my worship pastor in highschool; never dropped it.
  3. Fuck/all variations thereof
    It's my favorite word. Dreading the day I accidentally say this in front of my mother, but not enough to stop using it.
  4. Bitch
    Also one of my favorite words. I try to use this more sparingly/with more discernment than fuck though (with debatable success).
  5. Bitch, you don't know my life
    Quoting (paraphrasing?) Baby Mama. Usually said to @crackdkettle either when she questions me or when I am telling her a story about someone dumb trying to make me do something.
  6. I'm livid
    Current usage: ranges from actual anger (vv rare) to hyperbolic fake anger like when Oscar Isaac is too perfect to be an actual human man (almost always).
  7. Who authorized this
    Basically the same thing as 'I'm livid'.
  8. Rude
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    Stolen primarily from the sitcom Miranda.
  9. Not being rude, but _____
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    Miranda again
  10. Like
    According to people who aren't me. Hashtag can't stop won't stop.
  11. Hashtag ______
    It started ironically...which possibly makes it worse.
  12. I was homeschooled
    My go-to excuse when I don't get a pop culture reference.
  13. I hate you
    I love you and you just proved me wrong or sent me something distracting/amazing.
  14. Your face is ____
    I'm an adult.
  15. S/he's a life ruiner who ruin lives
    When people are too attractive/wonderful.
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    Actually rarely say this out loud, but there's pretty much a constant chorus of it in my head due to the current plethora of bossy condescending men in my life right now.