THINGS I THINK ABOUT WHEN I'M MONITORING THE JANITOR AT WORK

I work in a secure office, so anyone without clearance has to be escorted through - including the janitor, who comes for 90 minutes at a time a few times throughout the day. I've been putting in a lot of time in the escort rotation, since it's one of very few tasks that doesn't require a security badge.
  1. How stupid it is that we have to call this task monitoring because people find it offensive to be called an escort.
    First of all, words can mean more than one thing? & while I'm not totally sure of the etymology of escort, I I'd still bet it hasn't had sexual connotations far longer than it has. More importantly, I frankly think it's way more insulting to the janitor, who's worked in the building for 18 years, to call it monitoring, which strongly implies that he's so untrustworthy he needs to be tracked/watched, not merely accompanied as he makes his rounds.
  2. Why on earth, when the bathrooms are always cleaned between 9:30-11:00 every single day, people still try to go to the bathroom during that time & are always - ALWAYS - surprised that they're being cleaned.
    About 85% of these people are the same people EVERY DAY. Also there are two sets of bathrooms in our office, on opposite ends of the building, and people could easily just walk over to the other one if it really can't wait. But no, instead they try to convince he janitor to let them go, which is a waste of everyone's time, regardless of outcome.
  3. Why on earth one of these people is the director of our whole office, aka my boss's boss's boss's boss, who is genuinely one of the nicest people I have ever met in my life and who, instead of acting shocked, makes a habit of trying to have a conversation with me before just going into the bathroom anyway.
    Sir, I don't want to talk to you outside the bathroom you're about to go use. I just don't.
  4. The conjugation of irregular Russian verbs.
    I can never actually remember these, but I'm trying.
  5. How much I dislike working with men.
    It's been three years since I really had to - there were a couple guys at my last job, one of whom I completely loathed, but I never had to actually see him, because be worked at a different location. It's been a major adjustment and I'm not loving it tbh.
  6. The categorization of my work crushes.
    Yes, it's been three weeks & that's already plural. It's been like five years since I worked with anyone crushworthy, okay? I have a lot of catching up to do. Also yes, this is in spite of the above point. I contain multitudes.
  7. How much I hope I don't ever again have to vote for an old white man in a Presidential election.
    Someone inevitably turns on CNN in the break room during lunch, and it is ruining my life.
  8. Whether or not I should apply for Peace Corps.
    I'd elaborate but honestly there's enough of this dilemma I need to unpack that it's probably gonna be a whole other list.
  9. How to approach the cute guy in a different department who was in Peace Corps and ask him about his experience.
    We've never been formally introduced and I have no way to do this casually/unawkwardly at all and ughhhhhh.
  10. World peace.