HOW TO BE US IN 7 EASY STEPS

You too can treat 90 billion gallons of wastewater per year!
  1. 1.
    Build a bunch of sewers.
    More than 200 miles worth. We started with one single pipe back around 1900 that just discharged right into Lake Erie. Yea, that's not the way you'd be able to do things now. But to handle the waste and stormwater for 1,000,000+ residents, you need reliable dependable sewers.
  2. 2.
    Erect a treatment plant or three.
    To start, one is fine. We started with one back around 1910, and since then we added two others. Just because you have sewers doesn't mean you'll have clean water. Treatment plants are the difference between sewage and sanitation. With steps 1 and 2 under control, you are well on your way to being us!
  3. 3.
    Conduct more than 530 water quality tests per day.
    Yay science!
  4. 4.
    Build stuff and make sure it will last a long time.
    Figure you'll need about $200 million per year for construction projects. Some of that might be tunnels (with lifespans that last a generation or more), some might be green infrastructure, some might be treatment plant work. Details, schmeetails, just know that to be us you need to have top-notch project-management skills and financial prowess.
  5. 5.
    Fix problems.
    Some will be problems you expect. Many won't. But you'll still need to fix them. Affordably, strategically, and with environmentally sound principles that have the customer in mind.
  6. 6.
    Win awards.🏆
    Make sure you have a big mantle or a sweet den to hang all the swag you'll get when you're us. It won't be easy, but you'll deserve every one.
  7. 7.
    Don't settle.
    Hey we get it. You're a public agency, you have a lot of obligations and "the way we've always done things" is known and comfortable when the unknown and discomfort surround you. But you'll need to understand that your work--infrastructure--is the foundation on which clean water and entire regions are built. Respect that, and always look ahead to ensure your work and decisions are the best they can be.