I don't want to spoil this list, but honestly, all of these costumes but one are abysmal. As much hope as I had for fun happy-go-luckyđź’©faced Halloween hilarity, I am vastly disappointed that these are what I found. Thankfully the best of the list made up for what the others sorely lacked. Thanks @LizDawson, @Nicholas and @element75.
  1. 8.
    Poop hat option 1
    You're not even trying. You literally would have been better not trying at all.
  2. 7.
    Corny poo
    This isn't even an emoji, it's an actual bowel movement costume. I work in the wastewater industry and have seen things I can't unsee and now this is added to that list.
  3. 6.
    Poop hat option 2
    This makes me think of a wizard-themed laxative mascot. Pick wizard or pick poo emoji, don't pick them both.
  4. 5.
    Dog poo
    Awful, just look at this poor dog, I don't think it's legal to mistreat animals like this is it? Please scroll to the next one, just go.
  5. 4.
    Smiley poo
    At least this one has packaging to accompany it. But it looks like an empty bean bag.
  6. 3.
    Poo style
    What makes this one is the model, period. He'd make any costume sellable but I'd want to buy the glasses too.
  7. 2.
    3D poo
    The only one to give the emoji a latex and texture treatment. But the tongue is odd, and man oh man you just know the inside turns into a sweaty condensation mess once you breathe in there for more than 3 minutes, a la that ET mask you wore for Halloween in the 80s.
  8. 1.
    Full body poo
    When you hear the phrase "covered in poo" at a wastewater treatment plant, things aren't going well. But this one is worthy of our top spot. A full-body costume from head to toe, the $30 price tag may even make it a viable addition to our Wally Waterdrop mascot, but we won't tell Wally. Yet.