REASONS I'VE DECIDED TO NOT SEE BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

  1. I don't want to pay for something I know will make me sad/angry.
  2. Two and a half hours before in-theater commercials and previews is a big chunk of time to carve out of the day and a recipe for a nap at night.
  3. The ethos behind Man of Steel makes me physically mad when I discuss it with others and that's dumb.
  4. Look, Batman using a gun to maim folks or allow people to die kind of makes him Midnighter and not Batman and I don't care how pedantic that makes me.
  5. Several reviews and even spoiler filled articles fail to describe the kind of passionate kissing the commercials heavily imply takes place, and it just makes me fearful that Batman and Superman's love remains unrequited.
  6. Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor is straight out of 1997, and that's unacceptable.
  7. I'm not above accepting money to see this movie. Bids can start at $150 but I'll probably do it for a little less.
  8. Martha Kent at one point says to Superman that he doesn't owe the world anything, and that pretty much makes her a jerk of a person, let alone a mom…let alone Superman's mom.
  9. Zack Snyder can make a hell of a visual but his Zayn Rand meets Crossfit philosophy is one that doesn't really need a venue in terms of the DC oeuvre.