I'm So Conflicted. Help Me.

  1. So I finally have a job!
    CNA Training that moves into a full time CNA position.
  2. But I also really want to go back to camp this summer.
    This is really the last summer I have the opportunity to work there. I LOVE it there. I love the people, I love the campers, I love the place.
  3. If I do this I will work at my CNA job for like 3 months.
    That feels like such a dick move to leave after 3 months. But if I get accepted abroad is be leaving after 6 months.
  4. The CNA job pays more
    But I never worked at camp for the money. I worked there because I love it there and I feel like I'm helping. I don't want to miss the last opportunity I have to work there.
  5. I should save money for school.
    That is if I get accepted. But really at camp I don't have to pay for anything. I have a place to live and food to eat. I don't have to spend money. Except for gas if I want to go home for a break.
  6. Like should I just stay at my CNA job for the summer and be miserable knowing I could be at camp?
  7. Im worried I will email my boss at camp and tell her I want to come back and then I won't get accepted to schools and I will have fucked up everything for work back at home.
  8. But I'm like if I get accepted should I be spending my time at home with my family not three hours away at camp? Like I will be gone a year for my masters.
    But then I'm like it's only a year.
  9. And I know a lot of people who worked at camp probably won't be able to return. Which isn't great. Having all new people is hard. Having returning people helps build their confidence and kinda act like a mentor.
    I could be one of those returning people. I have an opportunity.
  10. I don't want my dad to be pissed at me for leaving and throwing this CNA job away.
  11. Guys I'm seriously in tears and panicking because I don't know what to do. I want to do camp one more time, but I don't want to fuck everything up.