LIES I TELL

  1. Omg I love your hair!
    Translation: you mostly look like a tramp that went to a cheap salon
  2. You manicure is fab
    T: if we were back on '05
  3. I look forward to hearing back from you
    Go fuck yourself, I hope you get lost
  4. I'm great and you?
    T: Get a life, I do not care
  5. Love the pop of colour today Karen!
    T: did not know you were colour blind, but you should stick to black because hot fuchsia top and white studded boots do not match
  6. Oh don't be silly!
    T: Yep. Not only you look fat, you ARE fat.
  7. That meeting was great
    T: thanks to it I had time to make the weekly grocery list, the cleaning list and write a fucking memoir