THE PERFECT TOILET STALL

Listen up, it's not often I find myself in the anxiety inducing and most times traumatic environment of the toilet stall. But since late I've spent quite a bit of time in such horrid places. So here it is, The perfect toiled stall.
  1. The stall Should be wide enough for one to enter turn around and close the door with out touching the toilet, the walls, or the toilet paper dispenser.
  2. The door to the stall should be a good door that is not easily opened or in some cases jiggled while you're using it.
  3. It should also open outwards, not inwards as this makes it difficult to close in close quarters.
  4. The bottom of the door should start about 6"-8" from the ground and travel all the way up the wall.
  5. The door doesn't have to go as high as the wall but should at least top out at about 6'.
  6. There will be a gap between the door and where the lock mechanism latches.
  7. This gap should be covered with a plastic filter connected to the door from the outside. It will cover and blur the gap so none can peer in.
  8. The lock mechanism should be sturdy enough to hold the door completely closed if someone tries to open it[the door]. This includes no jiggling.
  9. Once inside the walls of the stall should touch the ground and travel up higher then 6'6" at the least.
  10. The ceiling should be approximately 1'6" from where the stall wall stops. It's easier to adjust the stall wall instead of the ceiling.
    NOTE: it's understood that not all bathroom ceilings can be 8' tall so in a situation like this the stall wall must be adjusted. For instance let's say the ceiling is only 7' tall, it is recommended the stall wall stay at about 6'5". If for some reason the ceiling is 6' then the stall wall must cover the whole length:END NOTE.
  11. The stall should have its own individual light source with lighting from either a led light with a filter to soften the glow, or something near 300-500 Calvin. Tuskegee lighting preferred for now(subject to change)
  12. The toilet paper holder should not be behind you. It's either on your right or left easily within arms reach.
  13. It should also contain 2 rolls of toilet paper at the least.
  14. The toilet paper rolls should be placed side by side in order to make a solid landing area for your phone.
    NOTE: this landing is a must as it will be used to place the cell phone while pulling pants up/down and while sitting down on the toilet or getting up from the toilet. END NOTE
  15. The landing area should have a sanitary non-slip grip to ensure maximum phone safety.
  16. Coat hook is also essential for coats bags etc. only two hooks necessary, no more, no less.
  17. The toilet- White or black in color and low enough to the ground to creat the perfect 90 degree angle in the knees.
  18. There need not be a lid to cover. The secondary lid(the one you sit on) must not be full circle. instead it should be in the shape of the chicago Bears "C".
  19. Finally, this toilet should not be automatic.
  20. The bowl should be big enough to fit comfortably. No small bowls that make you feel squished. If you feel like your butthole and wiener can not fit on the bowl at the same time it's already too small.
  21. That my friends... Is the perfect toilet stall.