My birthday is coming up in a few days, so if you need any gift ideas here are some because some people say I'm "hard to shop for" and "needy"
  1. $5,000
    This is just an estimate, I don't want to limit your givings.
  2. iTunes gift card
    Of $120
  3. 23andMe Genetics Test
  4. Buy me stocks and bonds
    For obvious reasons.
  5. Calvin Klein underwear
    I like the way it makes me feel.
  6. New Records
    Aka vinyls because I'm hip.
  7. Swagway lololol
    But srsly.
  8. Private jet
    Also for obvious reasons.
  9. Plane tickets
    If #8 isn't doable.
  10. Selfie stick
    Lets pretend I'm joking about this...
  11. Long johns
    The underwear not the food.
  12. A credit card in someone else's name
  13. Zombie Undead contacts
    For my 2016 Halloween costume and my edgy attitude.
  14. A ton of alcohol
    Because life is too expensive not to pregame.