1. Bill, seriously. Leave the toilet seat UP
  2. Ben Gahzee poked you on Facebook
  3. Your Chicos pantsuits have been sent!
  4. It takes a village of idiots to nominate another Bush amirite?
  5. Mom, stop trying to set me up with a Jonas brother
  6. Your Warby Parker buggy sunglasses have arrived
  7. Bill, if there's not a scotch waiting for me when I get home...