1. I always take my hat off indoors
    Manners are important, and guess what? I've got 'em! If I'm wearing a hat, I never fail to take my hat off when I enter a building. Sure, sometimes I wear a ball cap in stores, but don't we all?
  2. I can do a KILLER Boz Scaggs impression
    All kids love Boz Scaggs, kids from 1 to 92 (anyone older than 92, QUIT LISTENING TO BOZ SCAGGS), and I do a great impression of him. The trick is kind of to be Ray Romano if he could carry a tune. Why am I assuming Ray can't sing? Is that rude? Wait... You don't know Boz Scaggs? Well your dad does, he'd love this impression!
  3. Parents love me
    I've been called Nick Miller: Friend of Dads, but in reality the title should just be Friend of Parents. Why do parents love me? I'm polite (see item 1 on the list) and charming (see item 2 on the list). Like I said, your dad would LOVE my Boz Scaggs impression! Your mom would love that I'm a Sweet Boy.
  4. Nobody has ever openly said they hated me
    Pretty impressive if you ask me!
  5. C'mon do I really have to keep listing reasons?
    JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT! I'M NOT A LIAR! (Editor's note: I do hate in movies when characters are bad at lying because it's so EASY to lie about things! I do it all the time! But like, for small, inconsequential things. Not like I'm covering up murders I committed or anything. I'm a harmless liar, the lies are for the greater good)