1. If Mitch was not slowing down at a stop sign
  2. If Mitch was going to RKO your math professor mid lecture
  3. If Mitch was actually Osama Bin Laden
  4. If Mitch was not pushing the stop button on the microwave yet all the popcorn had already popped
  5. If Mitch was taunting your girlfriend's cat
  6. If Mitch was your girlfriend's cat and he was jumping on your laptop
  7. If Mitch made a hit single where the chorus was "Mitch, Stop!"
  8. If you two became pilots and Mitch decided to do a barrel roll mid-flight without warning