STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO PREPARE NICK'S SATURDAY SURPRISE

  1. 1.
    Get a snowcone machine in your possession or somewhere near you
  2. 2.
    Grab a box of cheeze its and a bag of mozzarella (cheese nips will NOT work)
  3. 3.
    Call your token black friend and have him come and assist you/make you laugh
  4. 4.
    Turn on Pitbull's newest album
  5. 5.
    Turn off Pitbull's newest album
  6. 6.
    Turn on the Shrek soundtrack and make sure the bass is all the way up
  7. 7.
    Screw the snowcone machine and buy some cocaine
  8. 8.
    Hey now, you're a rockstar. Get the show on, get paid.
  9. 9.
    Rent a tour bus for Saturdays only
  10. 10.
    Perform exclusively at the Norva.
  11. 11.
    Become rich and famous.
  12. 12.
    In your new mansion, buy a new snowcone machine.
  13. 13.
    Harness the ability to use the force.
  14. 14.
    Go to local supermarket and search for Nick's Saturday™ snowcone syrup.
  15. 15.
    Notice that it is on the bottom shelf.
  16. 16.
    Take two steps back and shout, "Syrup, RISE!"
  17. 17.
    That is how you make Nick's Saturday Syrup Rise