Things I Trust More than Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton

A running list of miscellaneous things I feel more comfortable placing trust in than the future of our country in either candidate's hands.
  1. An email from a Nigerian prince
  2. Astrology
  3. Mexican tap water
  4. A vodka cranberry from Bill Cosby
  5. Ads for big dick pills on porn sites
  6. Bernie Madoff's investment advice
  7. The Church of Scientology
  8. TMZ
  9. Honey Boo Boo's mother
  10. Michael Jackson with children
  11. The show "Ancient Aliens"
  12. Used car salesmen