1. I feel like I've been beaten with a bag of oranges
    Oddly specific
  2. I don't give a rat's ass about [the i-component]
  3. Prepare your wrists. This might take a lot of writing
    Said after we had already taken 3 full pages of notes not even halfway into class
  4. This email.
  5. I'm a professor. I can do what I want.
    This was his first semester teaching so he was on a little bit of a power trip.
  6. I suffer from a condition called, "Resting Asshole Face"
    The guy equivalent to resting bitch face
  7. Math doesn't suck; you do
  8. The secret to marriage is being petty.
  9. Woah, my voice just cracked. That was weird.
  10. My fingers aren't as stupid as my pen.
  11. You need to see a psychiatrist or something
    After someone said they were freaking out about the upcoming test
  12. Well I just threw up in the bathroom so class is cancelled today.