TIMES MY MOM WAS A SAVAGE
It is my belief that all moms are savages. Here are a few instances involving my own mother to help prove my point.
- •My brother was accepted into an honors college. While my family was congratulating him, my mom (not joking at all) said, "sweetie, I love you but I think this is a mistake."In her defense, he hadn't even applied to the honors college, and his grades weren't the best.
- •I asked my mom what my brother got on the ACT test and when she told me I said "oh that's pretty good!" She replied with "yeah, good for him."She claims she was referencing the fact that he didn't study at all for the test, but I'll let y'all be the judge.
- •Once she told me to text some directions to my dad that she had written out. I texted them verbatim. When my dad later said "those directions were crap," she said WITHOUT REMORSE, "your daughter wrote those"And I was sitting right next to her!!! I couldn't even react because I was getting crushed by the bus she so viscously threw me under.
- •She once fed my family tilapia after we explicitly told her not to.My whole family was scarred from the Dirty Jobs episode about tilapia and vowed to never eat it again. So when my my made fish for dinner, we asked if it was tilapia and she said it wasn't. She waited until we finished eating to inform us it was indeed tilapia.