QUESTIONS I SHOULD HAVE NEVER ASKED BUT WILL DEFINITELY ASK AGAIN

An ongoing list as I continue to not think before I speak
  1. Does this down jacket make me look fat?
  2. Does the wing of this plane look like it's getting really close to that building?
    While on a plane. This is the only time my mother has ever hit me
  3. Is there an outlet available where I could plug my blackberry in?
    While in the ER at Bryn Mawr Hospital
  4. Will we be allowed to touch the evidence?
    While on jury duty
  5. Have you ever had heartburn?
    While aboard the LIRR within earshot of a woman who made a regretful mozzarella stick purchase in Jamaica, Queens. cc @BMD
  6. What is sodomy?
    While at the dinner table with my entire family