THINGS YOUR SISTER SAYS WHEN SHE'S A CRIME SCENE ANALYST

My sister is currently a crime scene analyst for a police department and was previously a DNA analyst for the U.S. military. Sometimes when we're texting or catching up over dinner, I realize how weird our conversations get.
  1. "I played with sperm for 4 hours today."
    When I asked her how work was that day, she went into depth on testing chemicals on almost-expired sperm acquired from the local sperm bank.
  2. "That's where his head was."
    On our way to Din Tai Fung for dumplings, pointing to a spray painted X on the street in front of a busy local mall where a pedestrian was hit and killed.
  3. "You don't want to see hotel sheets under black light."
    Um no definitely not.
  4. "The letters on the license plate of the vehicle I'm processing are HPV ...that's unfortunate."
    Yup.
  5. "Upside of double homicide."
    On earning overtime when getting called in over the weekend.
  6. "You should be thankful for no grandkids."
    My sister to our parents when they asked about the main suspect in above mentioned double homicide.
  7. "Grandma took an ax to the face...just sayin."
    My sister's reaction when I chastised her for bringing up the subject of grandkids at all with our mother.
  8. "I can't talk about an ongoing investigation."
    People really say that!