Douchebags, ranked

  1. 1.
    Gym douche
    Creatine, protein powder, energy drinks, chalk, Under Armour gear, unnecessarily heavy weights, shrieks, techno music leaking out of headphones, douchery.
  2. 2.
    Beach douche
    Ok, bro, we get it. You are ripped and huge and have a great tan. But did you really have to wear those "American flag" swim trunks? What a douche.
  3. 3.
    Health profession douche
    "Really dude? All you want is to make money off your patients? What a douche."
  4. 4.
    Sports douche
    "No man! I know nothing about Husker football, and I have never tailgated before. Sorry I'm not a douche."
  5. 5.
    TSA douche
    "Man, don't be so pushy! I have a laptop to get out and pockets to empty. Just wait. No need to be a douche about it."
  6. 6.
    Ultimate frisbee douche
    "Nice legs, bro." "Yeah, I don't even lift. It's just from running, you know." "Douche."