Things that might actually maybe possibly cause LaRue to run

Because power walking is not running, LaRue. I'm Bolivian. I know the difference.
  1. A raccoon eating one of the water fowl
    "Shit! Not again!!"
  2. A raccoon drowning in the pond
    "No! He can't drown! I have to save him so I can kill it with my own hands"
  3. Mailman not dropping a package because no one is in the house
    "I'm here!! Come back! I REALLY need those Lithuanian matchbox labels!"
  4. Estate sale about to close
    "Just give me 30 minutes! I just want to see your basement."
  5. Finds out wife hired a plumber
    "Get out of my house!!!"
  6. 7pm on a Friday. Cackle Hackery had set a table at Benson First Fridays but it's about to be taken down
    "Chickens. Poultry. Fowl. Eggs. Almost there!!"
  7. Wood chips people drop off mulch and forget to take their check
    "This is the 5th time! Take my f@#%ing money!!"
  8. Juniper's first boyfriend makes a dick move and runs away
    "Come here you (cough, cough) bastard!
  9. Zombies
    Zombies walking are faster than LaRue power walking. He must run.
  10. Honda CR-V getting towed.
  11. Wait.
  12. LaRue doesn't run for this one.
  13. "We finally get a Subaru"