Things that might actually maybe possibly cause LaRue to run
Because power walking is not running, LaRue. I'm Bolivian. I know the difference.
- •A raccoon eating one of the water fowl"Shit! Not again!!"
- •A raccoon drowning in the pond"No! He can't drown! I have to save him so I can kill it with my own hands"
- •Mailman not dropping a package because no one is in the house"I'm here!! Come back! I REALLY need those Lithuanian matchbox labels!"
- •Estate sale about to close"Just give me 30 minutes! I just want to see your basement."
- •Finds out wife hired a plumber"Get out of my house!!!"
- •7pm on a Friday. Cackle Hackery had set a table at Benson First Fridays but it's about to be taken down"Chickens. Poultry. Fowl. Eggs. Almost there!!"
- •Wood chips people drop off mulch and forget to take their check"This is the 5th time! Take my f@#%ing money!!"
- •Juniper's first boyfriend makes a dick move and runs away"Come here you (cough, cough) bastard!
- •ZombiesZombies walking are faster than LaRue power walking. He must run.
- •Honda CR-V getting towed.
- •LaRue doesn't run for this one.
- •"We finally get a Subaru"