ANNOYING THINGS MY HUSBAND DOES

Because it's not all kittens and rainbows
  1. Obsessively checks the couch for dog hair and vacuums it obsessively
  2. Keeps buying bananas and not eating them. The bananas turn brown and gross and I have to make banana bread.
  3. Claims to see my ex when I'm yelling at him so I'll get distracted
  4. Says that him paying for half of our basic living expenses is "subsidizing" me
    This is just a dick move and he needs to adjust his thinking