A RUNNING LIST OF THINGS I NEED TO TELL MY THERAPIST

Whenever I get around to getting one of those.
  1. Sometimes I binge watch a TV show so hard that I think the character's lives are happening to me & then get annoyed at real-life people who don't ask me about that major thing that happened on last week's episode.
    Read: Parenthood, currently.
  2. I eat Mac-n-Cheese four noodles at a time. I put one noodle on each prong of the fork. If I'm in a rush, I just make the character shaped kind.
    I'm almost 27.
  3. I can't remember how to back into a parking spot if the car I'm operating doesn't have a back-up camera.
  4. Sephora stores give me an overwhelming sense of inferiority and insecurity.
  5. Sometimes I'm afraid my dog will be mad at me if he finds out I pet another dog and called him a "good boy" while I was out.
  6. Whenever I watch Remember the Titans, there's a part of me that hopes Gary won't get in the car even though I know he will.
  7. I work in the building that houses The Weather Channel & I never know when it's going to rain.
  8. Sometimes I still think about Justin Guiranni and hope he's doing okay.
  9. I *enjoy* going to bed at 7:30 sometimes.
  10. Emily Blunt is my least favorite actress in the world, but only because she's married to John Krasinski & I think he should be with Pam.
  11. Don't get me started on Taylor Swift.... 🙄
  12. Or Jimmy Fallon... 🙄🙄
  13. Lilo & Stitch makes me cry every damn time.
    When he is reading the ugly duckling book and realizes he's lost without a family too, just like the ugly duckling. Just put a fork in me cause I'm done.
  14. I think about the Olsen Twins a lot and really hope they're both doing okay.
  15. When I think about the upcoming NFL season, I get an overwhelming sense of anxiety because I'm not ready for the "28-34" memes.
    I JUST WANT THE FALCONS TO WIN ONE DAMN IT