Thoughts I Had The First Time I Tried An Oyster

  1. I hope they don't ask if I want one of those.
  2. Shit, they asked.
  3. Why would you ask someone to try a food they just told you they didn't like?
  4. Wow, okay. Guess no means yes when it comes to trying food.
  5. How is a saltine cracker - the worst food in the world - going to help it taste better?
  6. It literally looks like a toddler sneezed on this cracker.
  7. Holy shit it jiggles.
  8. Okay I can do this. Don't be a bitch.
  9. What the fuck did I just put in my mouth?!?!
  10. It's alive inside of me.
  11. The cracker has dissolved.
  12. It's just me and the snot ball now.
  13. *gags*
  14. Please don't throw up in front of all these people.
  15. There's no way this is going down.
  16. Where are the napkins?!?
  17. This is it. The is how I die.
  18. Fuck.
  19. I hope the waitress doesn't mind me spitting this into this menu.
  20. I'll buy them a new menu.
  21. WATER. NEED.
  22. Never again.